Government to invest in candle factories and horse buggies to improve energy security and lower costs
The LNP has made no secret of the fact that their two top priorities when it comes to Energy and the Environment are security and affordability – announcing this week that new coal-fired power stations could potentially be funded by Australia’s $10 billion ‘green’ bank.
In breaking satirical news, a government spokesperson announced earlier today that the government would also be pushing the Clean Energy Finance Corporation to invest in candle factories and horse buggies, saying:
“One hundred and fifty years ago, nobody complained about electricity prices. What’s more – blackouts were unheard of.
It’s time we stopped this Labor/Green ideological nonsense of looking to the future and instead look to the practical tried and true methods of the past. People safely used candles to light their homes and travelled about in horse-pulled buggies for centuries without having to worry about whether there would be enough power for air conditioning.
The fact that renewable energy sources have not been responsible for blackouts or energy bill increases is actually irrelevant. The quickest, most stable and most efficient way to reduce your electricity bill is not to have electricity – or gas for that matter – at all. “